Finding Purpose After Military Service
5 Ways to Regain, Expand, and Integrate Your Identity After Military Service
Lost, confused, a little out of touch. The world is slightly different than before you left and you can't seem to find your way. An outsider on your own soil, part of the world but not wholly in it. You entered the military to find yourself, test your limits, and build community—and now you feel like you’ve left a piece of yourself behind. We're here to tell you that it is time to regain your identity, take control, and apply the perseverance the military taught you, to building a new life.
Here's how to begin.
#1 Determine who you want to be.
What makes you tick? What did you want to be when you were a kid? What did you constantly exceed at during your time in the military? Get a white board, a piece of paper, the back of a napkin. Free associate. Let your mind wander and write your strengths, weaknesses, and passions.
Jot down what you can't stand and what you love. Stop writing, grab a coffee or go for a walk. Come back later and re-read. A direction will start to emerge.
#2 Develop your personality.
Surround yourself with things that fuel you; find a hobby, cultivate an interest, discover a passion. Pick up a book and read the biography of someone you admire! Take a cooking class or sign up for continuing education classes at your local Y. Don't be afraid to try new things. Sometimes you'll hate it, but that's okay. Just keep exploring.
#3 Create a roadmap.
Reflect on which career opportunities you’d like to pursue, and then build a plan with measurable
milestones. You may want to take personality and career assessment tests to help determine the
living and working environment that will best suit you.
Recommended career Assessment Websites
http://www.innerheroes.com/quiz.asp
http://www.assessment.com/
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
#4 Cultivate a new circle.
Make an effort to forge new relationships during this journey. Pursuing your hobbies and interests and connecting with those who share your passions can help validate your new sense of self. Try sites like MeetUp.com to get the ball rolling. MeetUp has more 9,000 groups that get together in local communities each day and can be a great place to connect with people of similar interests.
#5 Find a mentor.
"If everyone had a mentor the world would be a different place." Fenton Reese, Founder, Veterans Coaching Project.
They succeeded and failed and lived to tell the tale. They've been there and know how you are feeling. Mentors are possibly the most important step to regaining your identity after military service. The easiest way to find a mentor for military vets...Contact VCP! We are designed intentionally to replicate the small unit leadership environment of the military, making us the most effective mentor resource for veterans in the country.
Transitioning back into mainstream life after years of military service can be difficult, but certainly not impossible. With the right guidance and frame of mind, finding a new path will be one of the most rewarding and empowering experiences of your life.
Please share your experiences with us below!